Left by Me It shouldn't seem so lonely, this singing to yourself but your voice is sounding strained these days and nothing seems to help you were thinner at the eyes and you were rounder at the waist just whistling the old lines to fill up the empty space that was left by me on the periphery of the revelry the tired tent was placed you were captured by your keepers ensnared by their embrace you were always fond of pretty things that with your promise you deface you'll always be the empty one some song learned and forgotten, left by me and who protects the lonely? who preys upon the sick? and who made up all the stupid rules but can't stand to make them stick? I was weaker when I met you I was just a little bird in a terrifying windstorm when I found my only shelter next to you and maybe you will find her that lover that you serve but for now you'll have to settle for the one that you deserve and that's no one now, you knew it then as you stumbled through the night you said, “no one will ever understand me” “no one will ever understand me” it shouldn't seem so lonely...

I said “I like your hat” “I like your face” my face was smudged and dirty I saw your eyes and I thought that maybe this was something but you probably drink too much need too much love too much or not enough, and I think too much give too much want too much or not enough and I'd leave you someday I couldn't stay I'd leave you someday I couldn't stay there always was some comfort in knowing how to love him now that he's gone what's to be done with this useless information? cause you know he'd drink too much need too much love too much or not enough, and I’d think too much give too much want too much I always knew that I'd leave him someday I couldn't stay I'd leave him someday I couldn't stay I wake up now all anew don't want what I used to now I've come to mourn the loss of the many things I'd clung to find that I can pick them up and hold them close then I let them fall and watch them go and I see them on the ground below but there's still one thing I long to hold and I'll find it someday and I'll wanna stay I'll find it someday I'll wanna stay... I said “I like your hat” “I like your face” my face was smudged and dirty I saw your eyes and I thought that maybe this is something...

either turn it up or turn if off give me nonsense, give me meaning, but I can't stand this in-betweening and this circling is never gonna stop though you return exactly where you left, it's faster if you're on the outside Sunday morning at the water park they take our tickets at the gate and turn us out into the humid day we sit and watch the rides just starting up and see the fountains spring to life, and give our bodies to the concrete river it's ignorance that brings us to the top so suddenly just looking down at the people on the ground and there's just time to squeeze your hand before we drop and the shouts and all the water 'round drown out your shaky voice as you say “why do we do this to ourselves? there must be something comforting about the way we feel when panic and our love are circling.” breathless, laughing, running from the spot we burn the day away just playing in the temple of our lost Decembers evening comes, it's finally cooling off the people leave into the darkness, and the silence everywhere descending either turn it up or take it off no, don't go away, I'm here, I just sink into this despair sometimes I wore it well, but now it's old and frayed if I can change my mood just like my clothes, we'll fit me for a whole new wardrobe “why do we do this to ourselves? there must be something comforting about the way we feel when panic and our love are circling.” our time was short, our time had just begun and now it's past and over, just some fragment of a summer but it's always sunny there inside the park and that momentary danger keeps us waiting for the next adventure

you emptied your pockets of acorn armies lined up to the ocean shore you built them a galleon, a ship made of leaves to carry them off to war the wind on the water was stirring the sea the enemy drew their swords with dandelion canons, they fought so bravely then sank to the ocean floor you wanted to save them you wished you could fight you wanted an answer they're gone eleven years later you woke up early to pace up and down the floor you watched your reflection saluting a stranger alone in his uniform the smoke in the mountains, the steel on the rails approaching, the engine roars we stood on the platform awaiting the train that would carry you off to war I wanted to save you I wished I could fight I wanted an answer you're gone I wanted to make you an image of me to wish upon and hold so the moon and the stars and their mother above me would carry you safely home would carry you safely home would carry you safely

when I'm looking for comfort I think of the cold hard wood of my mama's piano bench and my too-long sleeves your face when you're sleeping your thoughts curling up in dreams wrapping me up keeping me warm always trying to find her I'm looking behind the breeze that blows on the ocean sailing the ships to sea always coming back again sailing back home to me sailing back home I found her a queen on her throne lay down my head beside her slept soundly in a world of my own but when I woke I was alone when he's looking for comfort he thinks of that long hard ride to the park in the summer the sky open big and wide the peeling of oranges the taste of the air in spring jumping into the water the way that we sing always trying to find her he looks to that distant grace that was taken in childhood the trust that they chased away he uses his fingers to sort through the cold remains I found her a queen on her throne lay down my head beside her slept soundly in a world of my own but when I woke I was alone when I'm looking for comfort I think of the cold hard wood of my mama's piano bench and my too-long sleeves

you said you'd remember this moment forever to hold and to make you feel happy again but I've never had that kind of peace with the past and a photograph will always be sad the corners are rounded on the celluloid scene your father's open-eyed stare, his head in the mouth of a blue concrete shark, teeth glistening white signed, “Somewhere in Vegas. December. Love, Dad.” you said you'd remember this moment forever to hold and to make you feel happy again but no matter how recent that moment is past a photograph will always be sad take out the chain, hold it up to your eye and your friends are all there under the water park slide six got to grow up, one had to die but they're all still together, in color, inside a photo's a token, a memento, a lie that we sell to ourselves at the loneliest times still it helps us remember as the seasons slide by that once we existed, that we too were alive you said you'd remember this moment forever to hold and to make you feel happy again and now that I've met you I might understand that a photo won't always be sad that a photo doesn't have to be sad

I was approaching something blank again with no safety net, no medicine, misused and slightly bitter five years had passed since I had faltered a little dab, the landscape altered I look around and I couldn't see myself till I became a Christmas caroler mercenary singing for all of those who could afford me like some maître d' of cheer and the more I smiled, the more I sang, the more the rest it started to seem okay until I thought I might survive another winter, a winter in the rain as an atheist it's hard to believe that I owe my present happiness to singing 'bout the baby Jesus but content-free I sang those words inside of me then something stirred an ungodly lust for all the living left that year I was a Christmas caroler mercenary singing for all of those who could afford me a wind-up ornament of cheer but the more I smiled, the more I sang, the more the rest it started to seem okay until I thought I might survive another winter a winter in the rain I don't think it's a coincidence that I met her doing what I love best when all the rest it seemed was at an end for every door that closed, ten others opened I found delight in blindly groping no need now to keep it to myself now we're two sunshine-loving mercenaries singing for your smiles, your generosity, not a seasonal delight who want you to know that chasing what you want can sweeten up a bitter heart can free you from yourself, can save your life can free you from yourself can save your life

love of mine, lost in an afterthought let me taste the sorrow on your lips redefine anger and emptiness with whispered words, we make an endless list into a new life out of an old song under the warm winter sky we come love of mine, suffering silently a wanderer who never knew his name Oliver, we'll call him Oliver some day we'll find an offering to make out of his lost life into a new song under the warm winter sky we come love of mine, taste the water just feel the way the blood runs through your veins afterwards, your breathing is softer in rhythm now, our breath becomes the same in rhythm now, our breath becomes the same in rhythm now, our breath becomes the same in rhythm now, our breath becomes the same

all the angels have gone to sleep and it seems that God's not watching anymore the water's shallow but the sky is so deep, the clouds are dark and heavy with the storm one last look at the empty place where we loved and fought and kept each other warm we cleaned it out and we left the state to forget the faults that others will be glad to confirm and there's no point in wishing there's just doing and being done to and some of us humans just can't help but wondering what is it He's trying to prove and there's no point in praying when the emptiness falls on the room and as for myself, I just sleep through their suffering please don't wake me up in sleep I am satisfied a proud procession of lazy days the meals they mark the passing of the time and “poor” is a costume my mother made from the little scraps my father left behind and there's no point in praying it won't stop him from swallowing you we were made from the stars we were made to reflect him and he, he was made to consume so until that day when our dreams have all turned towards our doom I will take all the love and the pleasure that comes to me but don't wake me up in sleep I am satisfied in sleep I am satisfied

binding a tether is tied tied around your finger it's a lie this time after there is a light careful how you hold it where you shine this time lonely you learn how to make a world that you can live in children for you to save tracing the innocent lines then paint your favorite colors yellow, black and white Vivian, he borrowed from a ghost to make you live painted in the colors of your face then traced again tying end on to end then climbing out the window brace for the sweet descent meanwhile, safely inside no one knows your secret how you gave them life butterfly armies will fight for you by the side of a girl who never knew how you wish that it were true Vivian, he borrowed from a ghost to make you live painted in the colors of your face then traced again whispering the stories from newspapers that he read scribbled in the tenets of philosophies unsaid losing a tether untied falling from your finger to this life you've left behind after there is a light careful how you hold it where you shine this time

Nico, where did that memory go of the dark divide and the pirouetting leaves? chaos, all those that came before us, through it hear her singing you to sleep clutching your penguin watching the ceiling as the fan above you spins into oblivion what once was scary can be appealing, can watch over you until it's time to wake again Nico, where did that little boy go with tiny hands too small to span the keys? A gentle breeze and a dozen lemon trees the thought remains, but the memory recedes the thought remains, but the memory recedes just close your eyes and drift until you dream just close your eyes and drift until you dream just close your eyes and drift until you dream just close your eyes and drift until you dream